Epic

The past couple of months have been epic. No other word for it. I haven't yet made the announcement of what's going on fun behind the scenes, but I should be able to say something some time this week. :) Other than that, there's been both bad (Voting Rights Act) and good (defeat of DOMA and Prop H8) coming out of the U.S. Supreme Court, and we finally have a Texan politician making headlines who isn't an idiot (Wendy Davis) and who actually has the people of Texas in mind when she's arguing with said idiots for the people's rights. I love that!

I also may or may not have broken my ankle. I've been having a rough time of it. Hobbling around a bit, but getting better. With my other foot, I stepped on a rusty tack, bled like I'd sliced open an artery, and had to get a tetanus shot. :P I did not love that. And most recently, just last week, I was robbed by a guy who looked like Hannibal Lecter. He called the church, said he needed to talk about Christianity and the Bible with someone other than ordained clergy. I met him for coffee in a public place. Next thing I knew, I had spent four hours being forced to prove I wasn't a "phony," I somehow got through calmly refusing to "deny Christ," even when he pointed out that if I were a "real Christian" I should be willing to die for my faith, and illustrating that if I have a gun to my head and he tells me to deny Christ, then I would have to let him shoot me, unless I was "lying" to him. But I passed every insane, psychologically violent test, managed to impress him, and he decided I was in fact a "real Christian." Then he forced me to withdraw all of the money in my bank (leaving me $27.90, because he didn't want to leave me with "nothing."), and told me that if I was in fact a real Christian, as he now believed me to be, that I shouldn't be worried about the money, because I should know that God would replace it for me seven fold. When he finally let me go, he made me turn around so that I couldn't see him. I thought that was the part where I would finally be shot in the head, but instead he assured me that he wasn't a violent person (!!!) and had been honored to meet me, since I didn't lie to him and was in fact a genuine Christian.

I managed to stay very calm throughout the initial ordeal, but after the fact I think I went into a bit of shock. In fact, I'm still in shock. We had to have a staff meeting to discuss our policies on "pastoral care" meetings. I've had to relive the incident so many times that I've lost count, and it gets harder every time. Mentally, I am still a the table with this guy, I have a gun pointed at me, my faith is on trial. I'm blaming myself. I'm seeing how easily I could have been on the other end of the encounter, and I'm feeling guilty. I'm all jacked up.

The guy was angry at the Church. He made me answer for all of the crimes of the Church that had hurt him throughout the sixty-seven years of his life. He believed that anyone who was employed by the Church was in it for money, power, and twisted sex. He's not the only person who's felt victimized by the Church. By the way so many Churches serve the money, rather than letting the money serve God, by the hate and judgment that spew out of so many pulpits that run absolutely counter to Christ, by the sex scandals, the pedophilia, the sexism, racism, homophobia--Christian hypocrisy in all its forms. I agreed with much of what he said, just not the off-his-meds-bi-polar way in which he decided to seek justice. I'm all about speaking out and fighting within the system for change. I also think there is a time when it's appropriate to say, "The system is corrupt. It's broken beyond repair. Let's break away from it and build something better in its place." It's happened many, many times throughout history, and, sadly, reconciliation has been rare. But there is never a time to take out our anger on an individual, to set out to crucify the hypocrites. The day we do that, we become just as bad, if not worse. This robber was on a mission. He thought he was so righteous, but he was just as far removed from the teachings of Christ as any of the money hungry, power mad, sexually depraved villains who had ever done him wrong. This guy needed help. He got...a lot of money.

In the end, I didn't get shot in the head, as it turns out. He made me turn around, and I thought that was when it would happen, but instead he thanked me for being honest and told me how much of a difference meeting me had made. I have no idea what to think of all that. I haven't really had time to process. In fact, I had no idea I'd be blogging about it so soon, or ever. Like I said, as far as my mental and emotional self are concerned, it's still happening. I'm still there, experiencing it. It's going to be a while, I think, before I'm perfectly myself again. This experience will definitely stay with me though, even when I'm more or less "over it."

So, as a result of everything, a number of things have been set back writing/publishing-wise. I'm trying to get back on the horse as quickly as I can, trying to get back to "normal," or even better than normal.

A week or two ago, I finally found the original six pages I'd written for the Cry, Wolf sequel, and today I retyped them and added a line or two to lead into the pages I wrote more recently. I was never happy with the outline that I had worked on, so I looked it over today. I finally realized what the problem has been. Chapter 4 is stupid. It sucks. It is the most out of place, flow-breaking, utterly ridiculous, contrived, pointless way to introduce a key character and plot point that I could have ever come up with. I am so glad I realized that! Because the rest of the story works great, so far. So I am going to tackle the outline again, deleting Chapter 4, and finding a way to intro that character that isn't idiotic and utterly out of place in the narrative flow.

Also, maybe tomorrow, definitely this week, I'll have some fun news about another project that I can't wait to share. ;)

I hope the world is treating you well! I love you, dear readers! You keep me going when things get real. The past fourteen years would have been unbearable without your support. You justify my little escapes into worlds of fiction, where, as it turns out, I tend to deal with all of the things that really matter in my life. May a sense of peace find you all, wherever you are, whatever you are going through!

- Glenn